I Love You More Than I Should
by Ruka9
Summary: "If I had a heart, it would beat rapidly around you. The one who has caught my attention, who has brought back these feelings I thought I lost. The one I love more than I should." AkuDemy Romance. Oneshot. Rated M to be safe.


AN: I dedicate this fanfic to TheRoxasToMyAxel who wanted an AkuDemy romance in one of my other fics, which I could not fit in. So I hope this makes up for it. Note: this fic is not related in any way to my other fics whatsoever. This does not effect Axel's and Demyx's relationship in my other fics. Contains some **sexual content**, it's not big or descriptive, but it's in there. Rated M just to be safe. Written in Demyx's P.O.V.

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><p><em>'If I had a heart, it would beat rapidly around you. The one who has caught my attention, who has brought back these feelings I thought I lost. The one I love more than I should.<em>

_Axel. Why does it have to be you? Why my best friend? Why did you have to be the one, that I want the most?_

_I've never had any intention of loving him this way, I was just super happy that he had become my friend. I was shy and afraid when I first joined the Organization, but Axel had opened up to me. He didn't force me to talk, or move, or anything. He spoke to me, and waited for me to answer. And when I finally did, our lives became linked._

_After that, every time I would see him, I wouldn't help myself, and I would glomp him. He didn't mind that I clung to him, he actually laughed whenever I would. If he wanted his body back, he would either pet my hair, or tickle my side. The way his slender fingers ran through my hair, the happiness that I felt when he did that, made me want to hug him tighter, and never let go. My feelings started to grow there, but I shoved it off as just how much I enjoyed being with my friend. Why did I do that? _

_My feelings for him continued to grow, but I just ignored them. It wasn't until the day that he hugged me, did I realize what I really felt for him. _

_I had failed a mission, and Saix did not approve. After he had struck my face, he yelled at me; telling me how useless I was, how I am worth nothing to the Organization, how I should have never been reborn. I don't like to cry, everyone knows that, but after I had left him, I broke down in my room, unable to control the tears flowing out of my eyes._

_I must have been pretty loud, because after a couple of minutes, a light knock came from my door. I refused to answer, and buried my face in my pillow. I wasn't expecting the nobody at my door to come in, and I certainly didn't expect it to be Axel. He must have asked me something, but I ignored it. I couldn't look him in the face. _

_Whether he was annoyed that I didn't answer him, or worried that I didn't answer, I'm not sure. But what I was sure of, were the arms that wrapped around me, and sat me up. He sat down next to me, and brought me closer to him, his arms tightening around me. That was the first time he had hugged me, and the last thing I needed to realize my true feelings._

_After I finally realized my feelings for him, everything was different. The way I felt when I clung to him, the way I felt when he petted my hair, even when he just looked at me or called my name, everything had changed. I craved any sort of attention from him. I never wanted to let him go. I always wanted to make him happy. But also, I wanted to tell him how I felt. But I could never do that, no matter how much I love him. He might grow disgusted if I told him, and call me a freak. I could never ruin our friendship, I would die if I lost him. I can't let that happen. I can't let him know how I feel, even if it hurts me to keep it a secret. I love him, that's just it. But I love having him near me more than I would love to tell him.'_

I put down my pen, and read over what I had just written, or in other words, my confession. It came out longer than I wanted, but it was all true. There was no other purpose for this writing, other than to convince myself of my feelings. The feelings I should never have let be. But they were there, and I can't get rid of them.

I carefully tucked my paper under my pillow, and tossed my pen onto my desk. I stood in silence before I groaned and collapsed on my bed. Maybe writing what I felt wasn't such a good idea. Now all these different types of emotions were swirling through my head. I shouldn't even be feeling. I don't have a heart. I groaned again, and decided to leave my room. I needed to stop thinking so hard. I needed a distraction. I needed, my Axel. I had to wrap my arms around him, feel the warmth of his body against mine, and feel his fingers run through my hair.

I walked next door, and knocked lightly on his door. It made me happy to know that he lived so close. I waited quietly, but got no response. He must not be in. Maybe he's in the Grey Room? I continued down the hall to the Grey Room, a slight skip in my step. As I neared the room, the familiar red head that brings butterflies to my stomach came into view.

"Axel!" I shouted in my cute childish voice, an ran after him. He must have not heard me since he entered the Grey Room without pausing to acknowledge me. I ran to the entrance and was about to call him again, but I froze at the sight in front of me.

Axel was speaking to Marluxia in the farthest corner of the room. It's not uncommon, since Marluxia is a close friend, but then he handed Axel a small, blue box. He took it, opened it, and smiled largely. I have never seen him smile like that before, and it surprised me to see him giving that new smile to whatever Marluxia had given him. It was probably nothing, maybe it was something funny Marluxia was showing him. Those thoughts crashed when Axel suddenly hugged Marluxia. Not just an arm around the shoulder, but a full on hug with their arms wrapped around each other, and the sides of their heads brushed each other.

I ran from there as fast as I could. Everything. Everything that I had felt for him, was suddenly blown away and crashed down around me, into thousands of irreparable pieces. He had hugged Marluxia just like that, just after he had given him the box. What took me a year to get, he only got in two minutes. Does that mean, that Axel has feelings for Marluxia, like I have for him? Was whatever that was in the box, a gift between lovers? Have I lost him?

I barged into my room, and collapsed on my bed, burying my face in my pillow. The same way I had done after Saix insulted me, but this time, there was a major difference. Axel was not going to come to comfort me. He had chosen Marluxia over me. Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe there was nothing important in that box. I'm not so sure what is right anymore, not after seeing their hug. I'm really glad I don't have a heart, otherwise, it would be broken right now.

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><p>I wasn't paying attention to how much time had passed, until my stomach started to growl. I completely missed lunch, and I'm pretty sure dinner is almost over. Was there a point in getting up? My stomach growling answered that. With a great amount of effort, I got off my bed. I was hesitant to get up, but the gnawing in my stomach was getting annoying.<p>

I walked out of my room, and paused outside of Axel's room. He must be having a lot of fun with Marluxia. Without even thinking, I placed my hand flat on his door. I stared at his door, remembering all that I've gone through with the one I loved. I can no longer call him, my Axel.

"Demyx?"

Oh no. That is not the voice I want to hear right now.

"Demyx, why weren't you at dinner?"

I didn't want to look at him, I didn't want to answer him, but old habits die hard. I slowly turned my head towards him, and stared into the emerald eyes I have grown fond of.

"H…hi Axel." I said to him.

"Why weren't you at dinner, and, what happened to your eyes?" he asked.

My hands flew to my face. My cheeks were still damp from the tears, and I could only assume that my eyes were still red.

"I…it's nothing." I told him. I tried to leave, but he grabbed my arm and held me there.

"It's not nothing Demyx." Axel said. "You don't cry for nothing."

"It doesn't concern you." I told him. That was a lie. It was all because of him, but I couldn't let him know.

"It doesn't mean I can't help."

"Please, let me go." I had to get away from him, far away, before I broke down in front of him.

"Demyx, I want to help. I don't like seeing you this way."

"Please Axel, forget about it. You wouldn't care." Please, just let me go.

"But Demyx, I would care. I care about you."

"Lies!" I snapped. His pestering was getting too much. If he wanted to know how he had hurt me, well fine!

"I'm not lying Demyx, I do care about you." Axel defended.

"No you don't! You don't care about me! You care about someone more! You care about-" I chocked on the tears that started to build up.

"Demyx? Demyx what are you going on about?"

Axel gripped my shoulders and looked at me worriedly. I lowered my head, not able to meet his eyes.

"Why?" I whispered.

"What?" Axel asked.

"Why? Why!"

I wrapped my arms around Axel, and buried my face into his chest.

"Why?" I repeated. "Why do I love you, more than I should?"

The tears wouldn't stop falling from my eyes, especially since I had just confessed to him. His chest vibrating surprised me. Was he... laughing at me? Was he making fun of my confession? This was much worse than what I thought would happen! I was about to pull away from him, when strong arms wrapped around me, and brought me closer to the body I was holding onto.

"It took you long enough." Axel said.

"W…what?" Now it was my turn to ask questions.

"You don't know how long I have been waiting to hear you say that." Axel answered.

"Say, what?" I asked.

"That you loved me."

My eyes widened in surprise. I looked up into his gentle eyes, and soft smile.

"You…you knew?" I asked him.

"Yes, I've known for a long time."

My face heated up in embarrassment. I guess I didn't do a good job of hiding my feelings.

"And guess what?" he continued.

"Huh?"

He ran his hand through my hair, and lowered his head next to my face.

"I love you too." he whispered into my ear.

His cool breath into my ear sent chills down my spine. I rested my forehead against his chest, and hugged him tighter.

"But, I thought you liked Marluxia?" The words slipped unintentionally out of my mouth, but I had to know what that hug meant.

"Marluxia? Why would I like him, in that way?"

"I…" Will he hate me for having spied on him? But it was an accident. I sighed, and continued. "I saw, you and Marluxia, in the Grey Room. He, gave you a box, and then, you hugged him. You hugged him so easily, when it took me forever for you to hug me."

"That hug meant nothing, and that box was not a gift from him." Axel said. "It's for you."

"For me?" Now I'm confused. I'm not sure what to expect next.

Axel removed his arms from around me, and gently pulled my arms off of him. He reached into his cloak pocket, and pulled out the blue box Marluxia had given him.

"I didn't have time to pick it up, so I asked Marluxia to get it for me. That hug was only a thank you, nothing more." he explained.

He handed the box to me, but I was hesitant to take it. With shaky hands, I took the box from him, and opened it. What was inside surprised me. Inside, resting on a delicate white fabric, was a miniature replica of my sitar. It was a shiny grey metal that matched every detail of my sitar, and it was fastened to a silver chain.

"You got this, for me?" I asked him in bewilderment.

"I was getting impatient, and I was going to make the first move by giving you that, but you beat me."

He took the chain of the sitar charm, and pulled it out of the box. He hung it in front of me, and connected it behind my neck. My skin tingled where his fingers brushed my neck. He traced the length of the chain, and stopped at the sitar. I looked down at the sitar now hanging from my neck, and the hands on either side of it.

"I don't believe this." I quietly said.

"Don't believe what?" Axel asked.

"You, feeling the same way I do. I just, can't believe it." What am I saying? I've been in love with him for a long time, and he just told me the same thing. Why am I denying my biggest dream?

I think I might have insulted him, since he lowered his hands.

"Axel, I…I'm-mph!" I was suddenly muffled by warm lips pressing against mine. I froze. Wide-eyed and in shock as the warm lips worked their magic. After Axel pulled away, he gently stroked my cheek, and said;

"Is that enough proof of my feelings?"

I was lost for words. My mind was completely blank. I reached up to my face, and put my index finger lightly on my lips.

"I…believe you." I said. His hand shifted down to my chin, and gently lifted my face to look into his.

"Then say it." he said.

"Say what?" I questioned.

"Say, what you have been wanting to tell me, for a long time." he cleared.

I know what he wanted me to say. I've imagined different ways of telling him, but all those ideas flew out of my mind.

"I…I…I…l…lo…lo…" This was much harder than I thought it would be. I swallowed, and took a deep breath. "I love you." I said in one breath.

"Finally."

He pressed his lips against mine again, with more force. This time, I reacted. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and kissed back. My face heated. Either out of embarrassment, affection, Axel's body heat, or a combination of all three. Our lips remained locked until the need for air caused us to separate. We stood there, holding onto each other, taking deep breaths.

"Demyx."

I was about to answer him, but to my surprise, he lifted me into his arms.

"Wah!"

I lost my hold around his neck in the lift, but quickly grabbed on again. He swiftly opened his room door, and carried me in. As he closed the door behind us, I scanned his room. My gaze froze on his bed, and I tensed.

"Axel?"

"Demyx, do you trust me?" he asked.

I looked up at him. He was waiting for my answer. He was waiting, for my permission. I nodded once, unable to form any words. That gesture was all he needed. He quickly made his way to his bed, and dropped me onto the soft mattress. I was about to sit up, but I was pushed down into the pillows by rough lips pressing against mine, and a warm body settling on top of mine.

His tongue tapped my lips, wanting to get in. My habit of wanting to make Axel happy kicked in, and I parted my lips for him. His tongue shot in, passed over all the crevices of my mouth, and played with my tongue. I was too into our tongue battle, that I didn't notice his hand reach for my cloak zipper. When I felt the tug on my cloak, I instantly grabbed his wrist, and pulled away from his kiss.

"Demyx?" he asked.

"I'm sorry." I said. "It's just that...that,"

"Don't you trust me?"

"No! Of course I trust you! It's just that," I really had no clue how to explain.

"You're unsure, aren't you?"

"Y…yes." Why wouldn't I be? Here I was, laying on Axel's bed with him on top of me, attacking my face.

"Heh, don't worry." Axel said, and pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead. "I promise to make sure, that you are not unsure anymore." He kissed me across my forehead, down my face, and stopped next to my ear. "I love you after all." he whispered, and bit my earlobe.

"Ah!"

I let go of his wrist and gripped the cover underneath me. He nibbled on my earlobe, and continued biting down the soft skin of my face, and stopped at my neck. By that time, he had already unzipped my cloak.

"Demyx, pull your arms out." he told me.

I complied, and freed my arms from my cloak. He yanked my cloak from under me, and tossed it on the floor. Then, he attacked my neck.

"Ah! Ah! Axel! Oh!" I gripped his back tightly as he bit my neck. His hands ran vivaciously through my hair, and his body pressed tighter onto mine. "Axel, wait, it-ah!" My hands filled with more fabric as he started to suck on my neck. His teeth sunk deep into my delicate skin, and his tongue ran over the patch of skin he had captured. I moaned, louder than what I expected, as his hands went from running through my hair, to running down my body. He stopped sucking, but gave one last lick, before sitting up. Since I was still gripping his cloak, I sat up with him.

"Demyx, let go." he said.

My fingers had gone numb from gripping his cloak to tight, so I had a hard time getting my fingers free. Once I had released them, Axel quickly grabbed the bottom of my light blue undershirt, and pulled it over my head. The cold metal of my sitar tickled my skin, but also made it tingle with pleasure. He discarded my shirt on the floor like he had done my cloak, and returned his attention to me.

"Demyx." he said, and pushed me back down. He hovered over me, his gaze never leaving my face. "Demyx." he said again, and leaned down closer to me. He kissed my chest, right where my heart should have been. "Do you want me to continue?" he breathed.

Even in the heat of the moment, he still thought about how I would feel. I'm sure if I had told him no, he would have backed off, and never tried this again. But I wanted him. I wanted him, now.

I cupped his head in-between my hands, and gently lifted it to eye level. I stared into his face for a minute, before I leaned towards him, and kissed him. I could tell he was surprised by my sudden move, but he reacted quickly, and pressed his lips against mine, our mouths molding to fit each other. His warm hands ran down my body, and worked with great speed to undo my pants. My hands worked ambitiously to unzip his cloak.

He pulled away from me, and shrugged out of his cloak, discarding it along with my pants. He took of his dark red T-shirt, and I couldn't help but stare at his perfectly fit abdomen, and muscular arms. He noticed me staring at him, and chuckled lightly.

"Your body looks good too." he said.

My face heated up in embarrassment once again. I wasn't expecting him to say that. I turned onto my stomach and hid my face in his pillow as the heat traveled to my ears.

"Don't be embarrassed." Axel stated. "Your body is perfect. It's all I've been thinking about." He ran a finger down my spine, sending chills all across my body.

"S…same here, Ax-Ah!"

My head shot up from the pillow, and my body arched. Axel had removed my final article of clothing, and found his way into my body. A moan escaped my lips as his hips moved fiercely, desperate to claim my body.

"Ah…ah…ah…Axel…oh." I finally managed to say.

"Does it hurt?" he asked as he gripped my waist, and lifted me onto my knees.

"N…no-oh!"

Axel's hand wandered to my front, and grabbed my lower organ. He started to pump at a slow pace that progressed to a much faster one. Up down up down up down, it felt so good.

"Oooooooh." I moaned loudly.

"Are you, huff, okay?" Axel asked.

"Other than the fact that I'm utterly in love with you, I'm fine-ah!"

I buried my face into the same pillow again as his hips quickened to match the pace of his busy hand. The rush, the sudden position, the satisfying way of how our bodies fit each other, and the knowledge of who I was doing it with, was just too much to take in at once.

"AH!"

Both our bodies released, and all movement stopped. The only sound resonating in the room was our raged breathing. Axel pulled out of me, and my knees gave out. He gently rested his body on top of mine, and stroked my hair. I felt my forehead dampen with sweat as the heat from his body spread into mine, but I don't care. His warmth was all I wanted to feel.

"I love you Demyx." Axel said, and kissed the crook of my neck.

"I…love you…too…Axel."

How sweet it felt to finally be able to say those words. How amazing it had felt when his body claimed mine. But the greatest feeling, was knowing that I was Axel's, and Axel was mine.

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><p>AN: This is my first time writing a romance fic, so I hope you liked it. If you did, then great. If you didn't, then I'll stick to comedy. Don't be afraid to give any kind of reviews, anything is greatly appreciated. And if you want to see any other pairings, let me know. I'm willing to give anything a try. Oh, and if you want to know what Demyx's necklace looks like, check out my profile pic.<p>

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts.


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